Ted Haggard Still Missing the Point

Ted Haggard is still missing the point. In a recent article he said, "My spiritual life was wonderfully empowering for me in the midst of the struggle. But it wasn't the solution."

Not the solution? Seriously? Jesus is not enough? 

I don't care what sin he has committed. Jesus is not just a solution but rather the solution. He can still dwell and embrace the grace of Christ and it would be wonderfully freeing and liberating for Haggard. Like him we all need grace. Me and most the world don't struggle with homosexuality but we do have our pet sins. These pet sins can only be killed by Jesus. Pray for Ted Haggard. 

Some Devil

This album came out in 2005 but I just really started listening to it in the last few months. It's Matthews' only album away from the band. You can tell a difference but it's absolutely fantastic. The songs "Some Devil" and "An' Another Thing" are great. 

The Dave Matthews band has an album coming out this Spring. It's been a while since so I am very eager to hear the album. I have been fairly disappointed with the last 2 studio albums. Please don't let me down Dave!!

God's Discipline

About a week ago I had the unsettling feeling that I had not been disciplined for a while by God. In fact it was one of those moments that made me question my standing with God. God says in Hebrews 12:5-6, "My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives." Not long after this thought process I was disciplined. It's painful, humiliating, and terrifying all at the same time. But, I believe the greatest emotion I experienced in this is ironically love. I feel God's presence in the discipline. I love that this passage starts off as my son. He is calling me his child. 

All that to say I SUCK!!!!! 

Father,

May I learn to love, obey and make you the object of my affections in every area of my life. I am sorry for my rebellion and hard heart. I grip onto you and Jesus. Jesus is my only hope for salvation, redemption and deliverance from my sin. Thank you Jesus. I love you.

Your Son, Nate

Assurance

I never really had assurance of salvation until my early twenties. Even though I trusted and loved Jesus I still battled the terrifying thought of being one of the many who will hear the words, "I never knew you" (Matt. 7:21-23). In all honestly I became very angry at God because of my own doubts. I once emailed a famous theologian about my doubts. He even wrote two very solid books on the subject. I became frustrated with him (unmerited) because he couldn't give me assurance (as if it's a secret pill). How selfish of me to get mad at a very busy man who took the time to help me. 

I really believe that the battle of doubt is mainly a personal battle. I say mainly because we need to express our doubts to other mature believers and get their help. But, when it comes down to it this is a battle between the totally depraved person and their doubts. 

With all that said I want to explained what helped me in my battle (that at times still exists).

• Meditate on Scripture-Remember that faith comes by hearing and reading God's Word (John 17:17; Romans 10:17. Do it over and over again until what you doubt becomes the anchor of faith you rely on.

•  Listen to Biblical Preaching- Along the same lines on meditating on Scripture it's important to hear Biblical preaching. If you are at a church where there is not Biblical preaching then you need to leave. Modern technology can be a blessing and a curse. The blessing of modern technology is that we can get wonderful preaching online. Here is a list I highly suggest: John Piper, Mark Driscoll, and Matt Chandler. 

• Focus on Jesus and not your emotions. The reason I battled so long with doubt was that I was looking at myself for my salvation.  I kept seeing sin and rebellion. I remember thinking, "I can't be saved. I have done so much evil." Of course I will doubt my salvation if I look at myself. That is one of Satan's most potent tools. Inward dwelling can be very poisoning to your fight for faith. 

• Remind yourself of the gospel daily. If you can get into the habit of reminding yourself of the gospel throughout the day you will find your doubts over time will subside. Remember the Gospel is not just for those under the wrath of God the redeemed as well. Paul tells the Romans he is eager to preach the gospel to them (he earlier refers to them as the saints). 

I hope this can be an encouragement in this battle. I believe we have made assurance of salvation a fleeting feeling. And to be honest I believe assurance is overrated to a degree. Many people are assured of salvation who will spend eternity in hell. May we cling to the sweet news of redemption in Christ and him alone. 

Reading Goals for 2009

I have too many books I need to read but have not yet. I have close to 500 books in my bedroom. I pulled off approximately 20-25 books that I want to read this year. I can easily read these books this year if I will average one chapter a day. I am currently reading Overcoming Sin and Temptation by John Owen and Courageous Leadership by Bill Hybels. I find myself choosing which book I will read by my mood. I am also going through the Bible this year. I am reading it in the NLT and enjoying it. 

I am doing all of this because I want to love Jesus more. I want him to be what is quenching this constant uneasiness and anxiety in me. I love him but want more.