Assurance

I never really had assurance of salvation until my early twenties. Even though I trusted and loved Jesus I still battled the terrifying thought of being one of the many who will hear the words, "I never knew you" (Matt. 7:21-23). In all honestly I became very angry at God because of my own doubts. I once emailed a famous theologian about my doubts. He even wrote two very solid books on the subject. I became frustrated with him (unmerited) because he couldn't give me assurance (as if it's a secret pill). How selfish of me to get mad at a very busy man who took the time to help me. 

I really believe that the battle of doubt is mainly a personal battle. I say mainly because we need to express our doubts to other mature believers and get their help. But, when it comes down to it this is a battle between the totally depraved person and their doubts. 

With all that said I want to explained what helped me in my battle (that at times still exists).

• Meditate on Scripture-Remember that faith comes by hearing and reading God's Word (John 17:17; Romans 10:17. Do it over and over again until what you doubt becomes the anchor of faith you rely on.

•  Listen to Biblical Preaching- Along the same lines on meditating on Scripture it's important to hear Biblical preaching. If you are at a church where there is not Biblical preaching then you need to leave. Modern technology can be a blessing and a curse. The blessing of modern technology is that we can get wonderful preaching online. Here is a list I highly suggest: John Piper, Mark Driscoll, and Matt Chandler. 

• Focus on Jesus and not your emotions. The reason I battled so long with doubt was that I was looking at myself for my salvation.  I kept seeing sin and rebellion. I remember thinking, "I can't be saved. I have done so much evil." Of course I will doubt my salvation if I look at myself. That is one of Satan's most potent tools. Inward dwelling can be very poisoning to your fight for faith. 

• Remind yourself of the gospel daily. If you can get into the habit of reminding yourself of the gospel throughout the day you will find your doubts over time will subside. Remember the Gospel is not just for those under the wrath of God the redeemed as well. Paul tells the Romans he is eager to preach the gospel to them (he earlier refers to them as the saints). 

I hope this can be an encouragement in this battle. I believe we have made assurance of salvation a fleeting feeling. And to be honest I believe assurance is overrated to a degree. Many people are assured of salvation who will spend eternity in hell. May we cling to the sweet news of redemption in Christ and him alone.